You Create Your Reality

During my thirties I found myself with a recurring health pattern on my hands that landed me in the hospital every November/December with “female” problems for eight years in a row. On the ninth year I recognized the pattern and decided to do what I could to step away from that way of being.

As an avid reader, I turned to books, reading everything from Edgar Cayce, Dr. Irving Oyle, and Lobsang Rampa, to the Seth material channelled by Jane Roberts. In fact, it was Seth who first introduced the me to the expression “you create your own reality“, while I was lying on a hospital stretcher in pre-op waiting for surgery.

Another person might have been depressed reading those words in such a place, I was energized and made a decision there and then to follow them up especially where it concerned my health issues. What might have been the bitter pill of responsibility to bear for putting myself in the hospital surgery circumstance became a challenge to get to the bottom of how I created the ill health reality. The result of that surgery was an appointment with a gynaecologist, in a couple of weeks.

As I was ready for the answers the perfect books fell into my hands. Marilyn Hayes’s book “How to Heal Your Life” was the lynch pin in my understanding of how we invite disease through our thinking into our lives. According to Hayes my female problems, and their recurring nature indicated a serious resentment toward the masculine in life. My first response was that I loved the men in my life, my father, my brothers, my sons, I just had a few problems with their fathers.

As well she offered antidotes to the unworkable self talk that is so detrimental to our natural state of healthy being. One simple recipe she offered to healing our lives was to replace destructive self taught with the phrase “I love and approve of myself” It was a good thing too that she explained how many people can’t genuinely look themselves in the mirror and say and mean such a thing. Her suggestion was that we should “fake it until we make it.” I was such a one and felt the complete idiot looking in the mirror repeating outloud that I loved and approved of myself when I very clearly didn’t feel that way.

When the gynaecologist discovered a lump while giving me the once over, he immediately suggested more surgery. This time I said no, I wouldn’t as a single mother with two boys be going for surgery three days before Christmas. The doctor expressed dismay that I would be so irresponsible especially considering that he couldn’t offer another surgery date (for an exploratory) for a couple of months. I still refused and offered instead to write a letter saying that he wasn’t responsible for what happened because of my decision.

I told the doctor that my intention was to discover how I had created the lump so that I could dissolve it. He thought I was off my rocker, I thought he was an unsupportive fat head. When I returned in April for a check-up, there was no lump. The doctor was surprised but was willing to admit he must have been mistaken. He would in no way take into account that I had done any emotional work to remove the tumour. When I offered that he would have done an exploratory surgery based on a mistaken diagnosis he still wasn’t willing to admit I might have made the better decision by refusing his surgery.

I tell this story in detail to make a point about how I intended to take command of a situation in my life, and it happened. It has been through my intention to serve the good of the whole that I’ve been able to find the spirit of forgiveness when necessary to serve the good of the whole. When I intend to heal the issues surrounding my childhood I find myself able to go to my memories and recapitulate the events, again bringing that spirit of forgiveness to bear where resentment otherwise had such firm roots. When I have a question that I intend to find an answer to, I’ve found an answer will always come especially when I‘m willing to listen to something other than what I want to hear.

I’ve been aware for years that when I intend to heal, I can. The keys to creating a most extraordinary reality for myself have been in my hands and yours too since we arrived on this planet in physical form. I’ve recently remembered that if I intend to heal a patch of earth, or water, or sky, I can. That remembrance came to me as a result of wondering what the answer was to the environmental problems plaguing our Mother. I remembered through reading the experiences of other healers and earth energy workers that we are the powers that create as well as destroy. When we intend to stop destroying our planet en masse, so it will be.

Over and over again I find that all the solutions we need to every problem known to man are as simple as our intention that it be solved. If there is conflict between the part of self that says you don’t deserve to live in a better world, and the part that perhaps says I nevertheless want to leave a better world for my children, there is going to be chaos in your life until you work out the conflicting beliefs. That conflict is a a symptom of a disease that plagues our time, the disease of self loathing. It’s antidote, unconditional love and acceptance of self are treated as childs play and for the simple minded.

Women have been disenfranchised from our bodies and their cyclic nature in part through years of subservient existences within a patriarchal society. In being divorced and divorcing ourselves we are practicing a form of separation thinking (that stems from mistaken beliefs) about an aspect of ourselves that needs, deserves the sweetest, strongest, nurturance and honouring. In shunning any part of our self we manifest an unloving ness toward all of Self.

My intention isn’t to illuminate all the reasons around why we’ve separated from a most Divine aspect of our feminine, my intention is to observe what is therefore making it possible for something other to take it’s place. I intend to do everything in my power to disseminate what information I have that will insure that my grand daughter as a young woman steps foot into a more workable world starting from the her inside out.