A Certain Honesty

"This isn't a journey about becoming something. This is about unbecoming who we are not, about undeceiving ourselves. In the end, it's ironic. We don't end up anywhere other than where we have always been, except that we perceive where we have always been completely differently. We realize that the heaven everyone is seeking is where we have always been. Once again, what is required is a certain sense of honesty."
~ Adyashanti ~
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I recently encountered one of the ways I have been deceiving myself, silly rabbit. I discovered that the walls I built around many of my gifts as a means of preventing criticism or judgment from reaching me had also prevented me from being present to the loving support that was also always available. Amen

Evergreen Forest Deva

It came to me in meditation yesterday that my “conversations” with trees, with our forest was stepped up when a local man, Joe, passed away…a painful suicide. I knew at the time, but I had no framework to understand what was happening or what I was being/doing as a result. It has taken maintaining a regular meditative practice to build a framework to speak of what happened.

Somehow the information about keeping ones meditative practice confined to one place cued me. While I’ve been meditating upstairs now for over a year, before that, the hot tub had been a natural spot to turn within. It was during an evening tub at the turn of winter two years ago, the evening of Joe’s suicide, that it came to me that the forest was in distress over the violence of his passing. He had poured gas over and lit himself and ran a trail through the woods. This feeling, this knowing about the forest and trees was powerful enough to override concern for the humans involved. It was necessary to acknowledge what had been done with no equivocating or excuses. At the same time I could sense Joe’s pain and outrage that he hadn’t been released when his body had died. He was trapped (by his beliefs) and haunting the area.

I couldn’t approach Joe. I sent love to him and called on his guides and spirit helpers to come to his aide, offering what assistance I could in helping him make the transition. That night and for many days following I spent hours in the hot tub, closing my eyes, drawing a circle of light around myself and sending love and light down the paths and through the branches of the trees. With the assistance of my guides and allies we cleared and released the traces of anger and pain that were cording the general area. Joe had spent much time in those woods, loving to run the trails, breathing the air that sighed off the branches of those trees. Together we keened, mourning the loss of His Light.

In meditation last night after grounding myself between Turtle Mother and my favourite star, I called up the image of Mother Earth rotating gently in my cupped spirit hands. As I breathed and danced with Lady Gaia, an image of our beautiful forests came to me. I felt a deep rooted ness with the Earth, as if I had a filigree of tap root systems diving deep into the ground. When I reached the bottom of those roots I turned and followed the sap back up the roots to stand tall and stock still and reaching further toward the stars I became the myriad branches and needles. I felt, smelt and knew an Evergreen Forest Deva had graced my sacred circle.

Winter Storms Have Hit Hard....Again

This is the first time in three days I’ve been able to get all the pieces together to sit and write anything. What began as a day of hard rains on Saturday and a loud night with almost 100 km winds, took on nightmare proportions after we got up on Sunday morning. Instead of backing off or slowing down in the light of day, the wind gusts increased and shifted. It is sickening to watch 100’ standing trees flailing around like stir sticks in a coffee cup or laying sideways from the force of the wind. The debris that rained on the house through the night was as nothing compared to the hour after we got up. I kept pulling myself away from the windows, not wanting to watch. When a large branch threw itself at the sliding door I was sitting next too, I went to stand in a door jamb to wait for the rest of the tree to follow.

Put together the sounds of hurricane force winds screaming through a forest with the individual sound of one old growth tree breaking away from the ground to crash through it’s still standing fellows to the ground and you’ve experienced something you’ll never forget. The only sound I have to compare it with is of a jet engine taking off.

Our forests have been ravaged hard by these winds again. Three days without electricity and there are still miles of torn up power lines between us and hot and cold running life. Everything revolves around power, so everything changes without it. We had telephone for the first day without power, but there’s been no phone for the last two days. Last winters storms and resulting five day power outage gave us reason to find, purchase and install a small generator. That is why I am able to write about this while still in the midst of it.

We have one old growth hemlock uprooted, it took a couple of smaller cedars down with it. One of those cedars hit the roof of the RV shed...didn't damage the RV. I wrote the above this morning...it's after dinner, still no electric power, but the phone line is working. It's started to rain again, and there are more wind warnings.

Living without hydro electricity at the end of a dead end road is like living with the Dreamspell Calendar...time has no meaning...there is only light and no light.

Friday, Self Existing 20 - Red Magnetic Earth

I unify in order to evolve,
Attracting synchronicity.
I seal the matrix of navigation
With the magnetic tone of purpose.
I am guided by my own power doubled.

The more immersed I become in the Dream the more magic my life realizes. I can see magic that heretofore I was blind to. I have a feeling of adventurer and explorer, not on a physical plane, though the results become physical, but on a conscious level. Conscious exploration of our spirit body or lightbody through meditative states turns each individual into captain and crew of an exploratory spaceship mission into consciousness. Once our physical eyes are closed the universe can open up in our minds eye.

“The 13-Moon Calendar integrates the 260-day Galactic Spin cycle, where every day is a unique "Galactic Gateway." Each day's energy is a specific combination of one of the 13 Tones of Creation and one of the 20 Solar Seals (Tribes). The Tone and Tribe's energies can be expressed as distinct code words which form an affirmation for contemplation, activation, and revelation. Based on the Galactic Gateway of your birth date, you can determine your "Galactic Signature," a key into your Divine design, central to your life's destiny.” http://www.13moon.com

Starting with my Gregorian Calendar birthday of July 17, 1953 I used the above link to find my Galactic birth Signature from the Dreamspell Calendar.

Cosmic Moon day 21
Year of the Blue Crystal Storm
kin 95: Blue Self-Existing Eagle

I Define in order to Create
Measuring Mind.
I seal the Output of Vision
With the Self-Existing tone of Form.
I am guided by the power of Magic.

I am a polar kin I convert the Blue galactic spectrum.

I have been writing down and incorporating the descriptions of each day or Galactic Gateway using the code words for about a month. Discovering my personal birth tone and tribe energy carries feelings of carefree play without self consciousness or fear.

They Are Wrong About You

A young girl marched up the steps to St. Mary’s Cathedral in the middle of a not church day. She had business with God. She climbed the back stairs leading to the balcony where the choir sang. She loved singing and the church from up there.

God, she said. I’ve decided that your priests, my Mom maybe Dad, the teachers, everybody is lying to me about You. I can feel you God…you are Love. They’re wrong about You, they say You want things and that You don’t love me if I don’t give them to You. I’ve decided I’m not coming back to church like a good girl anymore. I might not be able to believe in You if I keep coming here. (That's me in the middle of the picture)

The young girl in me who spoke to God in such a matter of fact way never left the room. When I left the Cathedral, a supposed House of God, leaving God behind, I stepped consciously for the first time, into my spirit body, my Truth. A long tall girl with a glow, an inner knowing. My eyes kept no secrets though my mouth learned self discipline the hard way too early and I grew angry. I was a grown woman before I remembered this young girl.

When a women comes into her menopausal years she will face anything she left unresolved as the girl who began menstruating. If she wears (and we do) coping mechanisms that sprang up during childhood, those coping mechanisms have become destructive mechanisms. For example, the woman who gave of herself no matter the cost to herself will, in menopause, be inviting chronic illness into her body with this stance. In this phase of our lives we will live our Truth, come from our higher self, or our bodies will no longer support a joyful life.

These days human kind is going through menopause.

The "Who Do You Think You Are?" Thread

I have worked with this “who do you think you are” question for years. What I found different was that I reached the bottom line, the core belief from which much of the derogatory self talk issued. The thought thread that I consigned to that Cylinder of Light (in the Judas to My Christ post) consisted of hundreds of little pieces of negative self talk I had already identified. It was like the magicians scarf...this the first time I found the end of it.

The place where the belief is derived (for me) is childlike. It goes back to a question I was repeatedly asked (out of anger or derision) as a child..."who do you think you are". I had only one answer...me. That was when I began apologizing for being me. That's when I began accumulating evidence to build the first apology into a belief.

In a sense it was a blessing to have been asked the "who do you think you are" question so blatantly...many of us are led to feel they need to apologize for being who they are without a word being spoken.

A friend shared that…
”I felt "less than" from a very early age but I don't remember any roots for this"

I see that "less than" feeling comes up when shiny Light beings are surrounded by denser not so shiny beings. We inherently know we're different...we can feel it...as do those with denser energies around us. I remember when I was walking away from drug abuse and the people that I associated with. While we all knew I was doing the "right" thing, most of those people nevertheless criticized (rarely verbally). It seemed that my attempt to fly right made them more aware of the fact that they weren't flying right and they were angry with me for bringing the feeling up in them.

Same friend mentioned that...
"I do know I Am going through a lot of expansion right now. Words can not fully describe what I Am finding."

I've realized for me that being unable to find words is a godsend. Unless and until the denser energies around us, join us so to speak, this is a good time to hunker down and keep our light to ourselves. There are those who are completely enraged, without knowing why, by the shifts in consciousness we are all experiencing. It's been said repeatedly...the more invested one is in their 3D constructs, the more resistance shows up.

And on the other end...Last spring I was getting to see my three year old grand daughter Paige for the first time in five months. I had been in the house for a few minutes when Paige pulled me into her room to show me something. When we arrived in her darkened bedroom, she turned and scanned me thoroughly and said "I want to be like you when I grow up Grandma" before turning to find the thing she was looking for. I knew she was referring to my Light body not my physical body.

Fear filled Thoughts or an Attitude of Gratitude

This I know...

When my self talk is filled with I can't...I fear...I don't like...I'm frustrated...I hate....this life is a misery mirroring the fear, dislike, frustration and can not energy. I used to be able to walk past the most beautiful of days, the most perfect of lessons and remain miserable. That was a choice not a condition imposed on me from outside. Attitude is the single most powerful tool we have in sculpting our reality...and gratitude the most powerful emotion to sculpt with.

Some of us serve as catalysts...when you think/feel/live outside the box...you nudge everyone else to get out of the box too.

I see the human race as a single huge arrow. Some are crowded into the tip of the arrow...the pioneering types...and some bring up the very tail end of the arrow. No matter your position on the arrow...it's One arrow and no one evolves without everyOne.



May the sacred flame of the Divine warm your heart with peace and light your way!

Namaste
Anne

A New Generation

I watched a baby hummingbird taking first flying lessons from an adult female by flying from the clothes line to the feeder and back. The juveniles are identified by the spots on their necks.

Yesterday in conversation with friends whom I share spiritual community I found this description of the growth I perceived them, us all, to be experiencing at this time. This was the example;
My son Jarod was learning to drive between the ages of seventeen and eighteen while he was going through growing spurts that amounted to two inches in height over the year. He would get comfortable with the vehicular dimensions (both his body and the car) he was working within, and then he would grow. From one week to the next he’d get into the same car and his foot would go through the gas pedal, his hand past the stick shift, and his other foot past the clutch. (His awkwardness is the stuff legends are made of. I rued the day I had agreed to help him get his license, our cultural version of a coming of age ceremony…in my car. I digress)

We as energetic beings, spirit beings have recently been through a similar growing spurt. With the removal of much or most of the powerful energetic resistance we once lived within, our native skills as healers, telepaths, prophets and more have been let out of the bag. Our auras have grown. I once thought that what I sensed was truer than what I heard (when a person speaks for example) I now feel that what I feel is real. My connection to spirit as manifested through perfect timing, telepathy, prophecy, manifestation and such has grown by leaps and bounds, along with my confidence…disproportionate to the time that has passed…according to the old resistant rules.

One of the cartographers (Daniel Jacobs www.reconnections.com ) of this unmapped and to some extent unmappable reality that we now reside within suggested in a recent essay, (I will paraphrase) that we could help ourselves through these times by connecting physically often and lovingly with each other and the planet. I realized that my new adventure riding a 250 Honda Scooter was my way of making direct contact with the Mother as I traverse her, and more, brings me into the moment in a way that reminds me of childhood, only better.

One friend has just built a privacy fence on her property that is her way of accommodating the more expanded energetic footprint that she has become, and establishes a new boundary that manifests these metaphysical changes physically. Her bedroom is almost dead centre of a circle that has been drawn by the addition of the fence. Another friend has recently undergone a dark night of the soul wherein he rode himself ruthlessly not satisfied until he had set fire to the rubble of ego, expectations and denial that hindered him from completely spreading his Divine wings.

While the larger world seems to go madly about its business, in the smaller worlds, our personal worlds, I see individuals being the changes they want to see in the larger world.

Peek-a-Boo Deer

I can't resist sharing this picture of a small doe peeking through the greenhouse window just before dinner tonight.

We've found out why the dogs have been howling at night in the neighborhood, why the deer are coming in often and close to the house and why Holy Toledo is sticking to the house like white on rice. We're in a "peak" cougar year. The forest warden has had to kill several cougars, over 150 pounds each, who've been taking sheep and goats. Just this morning a neighbour, while working in an outbuilding of the public water works, looked up to see a cougar crouched to spring outside the door. He started yelling while looking for rocks to throw. It wasn't until the first rock sailed that the cougar turned up the trail to leave. Wouldn't you know it...another fellow was coming down the trail and walked into the cougar that was being chased by the rock throwing fellow. The cougar chose to make a trail. We've had several "peak" deer years so it makes sense that the cougar population is also doing well.

I wrote and passed my first of a series of tests to get a license to drive a motorcycle today. I now have a learner permit that allows me to venture further afield than the village. I feel like I'm 54 turning nine everytime I get on the scooter and vroom away. I highly recommend the learning curve...it keeps you in the moment like nothing else.

Reclaiming Aspects of the Divine Feminine

I have heard and listened to the whisperings of spirit since childhood. I heard those whisperings most clearly when I was out doors. I joined the Vessels of Peace when spirit whispered that it was my place. I had no expectations and did little research.

The last couple of conference meditations I was unable to find my usual balance or still myself before the calls started. Before those calls were over I did find my centre and yet felt out of sorts.

I knew when I began the Doulas journey that committing to holding space for peace to birth on a planetary scale would also take some personal form, perhaps change, in my life. Discovering what I was not at peace with is not as simple as it would first seem. I would not have thought to ask the question before. I have not consciously directed or expected specific results or things to do (other than our phone calls), I have worked only as spirit moves me.

I didn’t want to completely return to my body in order to use my vocal chords and share the wonder of this last meditation. Even now as I sit trying to write I am not satisfied with the words. I will enjoy the experience for a space before asking myself to share it.

Tonight as a Doulas of Peace I experienced that feeling, (I’ve felt it before) of every event being in it’s perfect place and time with each moment leading unerringly to another perfect moment. Events of the last month came into focus with a meaning that I had felt lurking just out of reach, and for some unknown reason until now, had left unacknowledged.

A young female bear recently came into the garden bringing a message of transformation from the West. I couldn’t quite hear her message though I saw her full and well. A long dreamt of journey to travel to the westernmost part of Canada, the Pacific Ocean on Vancouver Island happened within a week of the bears’ visit. We sighted another half dozen black bears on the drive to Pacific Rim National Park and beyond to the surfing mecca of Tofino. Peace, Om Shanti, Salaam, Shalom haunted me pleasantly the way a favorite song can.

Walking, or sleeping accompanied by the sight, smells, and sound of thundering surf can/will bring a shift of perspective, an invitation to no time. I accepted the invitation. When we blessed ourselves with a visit at the Tofino art gallery of Roy Vickers I was drawn to and bought two copies of a book without opening a page. It is called “The Elders Are Watching”. The phrase came to life last night while joined as Doulas in service.

I use the chant on the VoP website as a kind of breathing metronome. As my breathing deepened I became aware of the scent of rose and a visual of a rose blossoming, unfurling completely and furling back into itself, with a realization that not only our lungs breathe, our heart breathes too.

I found myself above the planet, held in the web of light formed by our intention as Doulas to this mission. We were energetically hand holding, stretching around the globe accompanied by other multi-dimensional joy filled light workers holding peace space among us. As I gave myself over to a wave of joyous homecoming that accompanied my acknowledgement of the other dimensional beings I felt/recognized my Grandma, Mother and sister among the light beings. They are physically out of the picture and I knew that my elders are not only watching they are participating.

With that recognition years of pain and separation came as tears into my physical eyes. We were together in spirit as it had not been possible to be while in physical form. As One we were able to “read off the same timeless page” about what is real and what was illusion. Physical tears of joy washed the separation away while our spirit bodies danced as One. A new peace with the Feminine in Her myriad of forms was born for me in that dance. A joining occurred as I took back those long shunned as dark aspects of the feminine. I am born again to this earth walk and We are born again through my rebirth.

Committing to become a Doula of Peace required me to step into and own my West position on the sacred wheel of life. I am buoyed by the joy and gratitude I feel. The blessings of Peace far outweigh time spent.

That commitment as a Doulas has led first to the fulfillment of what is in my highest good….what is in my highest good will be in the highest good of the whole. A dream I’ve held for years also came to fruition on the trek to the West Coast. I found and purchased a good used 1985 250 Honda Scooter that I may move around on the Mother with as small an eco foot print as possible. Smelling the diversity of life we share the Mother with, feeling the bumps in the road is confirming my Mother connection while strengthening my physical body that I may better serve life.

I have rediscovered that Peace is a hard sell, even when you accompany it with beautiful lyrics as some of our beloved musicians have.I am honored to be sharing the journey to bring the reality of Oneness down from it’s airy fairy kingdom in the sky to a real place among us. I thank you for making these experiences possible for I wouldn’t be here without you.

As a result of the advice I received through a channeled reading last fall I have started and maintain a blog in the spirit name Honors the Gentle Breath of Spirit. I have posted this and other pieces about my experiences with the Vessels of Peace and other spirit or not related writings and pictures at www.onenessisus.blogspot.com I would be honored if you would visit or drop a line yourself.

Your sister,
Anne Cressy

Lund, B.C.
Canada.

PS. Hi Karen…It was a pleasure to chat with you this Monday afternoon, thank you from the bottom of my heart for that glitch that allowed us to have a private time together. The beautiful mirror you held for me to see within showed me the value of our communal vision and prompted me to share the more.

An Update on Various Stuff

Since Toledo joined us a few years ago, he has been prime motivator behind many a morning walk before we begin our work day. I formed the habit of carrying a camera every where after I got my first digital camera six years ago. Remind me to tell the story of that first camera….it fell out of my pocket into the ocean. I digress.



On my trip off the peninsula to visit Paige I purchased another low end digital camera. What a difference from my old cheap camera…I went from 3 mega pixels to 8 mega pixels…which basically means if you get a half decent shot at full size, it’ll be an excellent photo for web publishing. All this prelude for this mornings picture of a willow grouse frozen to the ground at the sight of the cat. Toledo was oblivious to the bird, making it obvious why the grouses freezing defence strategy works so well.

Lots of bear scat on the trails. Most of the trails we use are old game trails that Court expanded and straightened. A friend a few miles away has had a bear mother with twin cubs hanging around her property…she too had a composter and bird seed out to attract them.



The hurricane winds story that began last December is seeing an end on our property. Our home is built out of logs and lumber that grew on the property and was milled here. One of our close neighbours bought a new mill last year and so he was a natural to ask to mill the wood that blew down this winter.



I took a picture of Court’s 1952 Canadian army truck(Court did the body work and yes those are teeth)pulling a twenty foot butt section of fir into place, and a picture of the 200 + year old stump it came from.