A Pile of You

I haven't posted anything here yet this year...and I feel this piece by Jennifer Louden articulates exquistely what's up for most of us.




A Pile of You
by Jennifer Louden


It is time.

You are ready. This time, you mean it. For real.

You are ready. You are shedding, dismantling, unbuckling, discarding: identities, accolades, glories, web stats, even your most treasured bio.

Impressive, glittery, sacred: past.

Scars, wounds, failures, shames, dents: they must go, too.


You unbuckle the past slowly, swearing to yourself, softly, repeatedly, “I am ready, I can do this” even as bits of you cling to your fingers.

Disrobe, unwind, unburden.

A pile of you forms on the shore of your future.

The water of the unknown laps at your feet, caresses your toes. So clean, so promising. You are almost naked, almost emptied, almost ready.

Then a thought: wouldn’t it be a good idea to hold on to just one wafer thin bit of you?

After all, like the Egyptian Pharaohs, you will need things on the other side. Maybe not 10,000 nubile slaves or a clay jar with your preserved heart in it but it shouldn’t hurt to take just one, or maybe five, of your degrees with you? Certainly the Oprah appearance would be useful. And being the youngest person in your organization to ever run a division, don’t leave that. And your divorce and bad investments and the semi-abusive relationship - you aren’t really ready to let go of those.

It would be silly to leave all of you. You might get cold. You take back more slivers of your identity from the pile. You worked so hard for them. Especially the stories that gouge and pinch and humiliate.

You put a few bits of you back on. Now you’re ready to dive in, the water looks so fine.

What’s this? You can’t swim. You can’t even float. You are sinking.

Your toes touch the soft, silted bottom. You panic, claw at the water but no matter. You don’t move, can’t move: sunk.

You know what you have to do. If you are honest, it is only because you will drown that you do so, but to your credit, you do it (many would rather drown). You cast away all of who you have been, these last most special and hurtful flecks, remembering, at the last moment to say thank you.

Thank you for it all.”

You find — you have no idea how — you can breathe underwater now. (Maybe it was the thank you?) You can’t see very far in front of you, only a few feet, so you move slowly, as if in a dream. Come to think of it, maybe this is a dream and, any moment, you will wake up. You will be who you are, or were, or always thought you should be. You fantasize about how good that will feel, the known!, and then, shit!

You are smack, stuck, back on the bottom, in the gloom. Unable to move, although thankfully, still, able to breathe.

You sigh and watch the bubbles streak upwards. It seems that holding on to anything here does not serve.

You concentrate on the feeling of the water passing over your skin, on the cerulean blue patch right in front of you, on the rise and fall of your chest.

You take a tentative breaststroke forward. And then another.

A Boulder Garden

I was born into a garden of boulders. As a small child, I didn’t know the way, I couldn’t see over top of the boulders and no one around me seemed to see them. As I grew taller the boulders grew shorter, becoming rocks.

Some of the rocks had sharp corners to bark shins on. Some rocks looked solid until I stepped on them. As I grew more I found I could soften the edges of certain rocks, so it didn’t hurt if I bumped into them. I learned where the rocks were on the path so that I could avoid them. Some rocks I bent and removed from under foot, and some grew legs and carried themselves away.

Years have passed and again the perspective changes. Now I walk on a pebble strewn path. The pebbles crunch under foot marking my passage. I’ve learned that tear stained pebbles are glistening jewels washed in stories that look like colors of the rainbow. Occasionally they get in my shoes, and I know it is time to stop and look around for the lesson. As I remove the pebble I sing it’s praises and give thanks for it’s giveaway.

I can still see others walking boulder strewn paths or heavily rock strewn paths. Now I visit among the boulders and rocks when spirit moves me. I stay as long as I see and hold a vision of everyone walking the beautiful pebble strewn path of their lives.

Every one of us is a pebble on The Path. I could be a pebble on your Path. Let us walk softly together, admiring our diversity, glorying in our differences and celebrating our largesse.

If you see a beautiful pebble, wet or dry, it’s calling to you. Pick it up and put it in your pocket that the child in you may once again revel in the Earth wisdom that is our birthright. Soon, if you stop and listen closely, you too will hear whispers between pebble and child. Listen within and you too will find answers to your questions and fulfillment of hearts desires.

A New Wavespell Begins

Using the Dreamspell Calendar instead of the Gregorian this is what we call and how we guide this day.

Sunday Electric 22 Blue Magnetic Monkey

I unify in order to play,
Attracting illusion.
With the magnetic tone of purpose.
I am guided by my own power doubled.

"Here is the `other side' of the center. Magnetic Monkey as the `other'
centerpiece of the Tzolkin reveals to us the inherent nature of the
universe, at least from the Mayan perspective. You get to make up what
you believe, and how many giggles you are going to fold into your
daily adventure. Your purpose here dear heart is to have as much fun as possible, and to unify with the great smiling intelligence of the universe. It is not a bitter or wrathful place, but a dynamically changing and surprise filled basket of wonders. This very matrix of the Tzolkin, once I discovered that love and play are at the very center, and nurturing essence and enlightenment are at either end of this cycle, I was hooked, line and sunk, deeply into the Zuvuya, the stream of consciousness that makes up the planetary and divine mind/soul".

In lak'ech!
la monkeyscribo
from Consciousburrito@yahoogroups.com


In order to facilitate the end of time into now or no time for humanity en masse, and for ourselves as individuals, we do well to take this simple habit into our daily lives. Today is the first day of a new wave spell and I feel like a child in a brand new candy store with numberless confections before me that is a delight to behold.

Blessed be

An Expanding World

One day in August of 2005 I started googling some of my favourite authors and found online communities, (like support groups but different) that had gathered around these authors. Today I participate in two forums, one called the Sacred Forum organized around author Lynn Andrews Medicine Woman series (all women) http://www.lynnandrews.com/forum.html and the Reconnections Yahoo Forum organized around the channeled work of Daniel Jacobs. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/reconnections/

After spending months of excellent reading on the Reconnections website I noticed that DJ did personal readings. It was during that reading DJ suggested that I (we all) develop an online presence by way of exercising the new wings that we’re sprouting these days. I was thinking about this last night and felt I needed to send a shout out to DJ saying thanks for the good counsel. As well I want to share a recent transmission that came through the Reconnections and can be found, with tons of other helpful information, on that website. http://www.reconnections.net/index2.htm


"An Expanding World"

"As Heart Energy expands, the vibratory pitch of your planet will rise. If your physical vibration reaches a certain level, and your body remains intact, pre-designed software programs will install themselves, and begin working within your consciousness. These programs are sourced from a balanced mixture of "mind and emotion," though it may not seem so. For many of you, the expression of emotion seems quite foreign. In fact, it's downright scary! The opening up of these energy centers will make some of you feel as though you're going crazy. In truth, you are simply being reborn--pecking your way out of the ancient, primordial "egg." You're not cracking up, you're breaking out!

The outworking of this process will look different for each person. Its effects,however, will be quite similar. Some or all of the symptoms of Global Acceleration Syndrome may be in effect. You'll go to doctors, and they won't know what to tell you (unless they are opening up in their consciousness as well). If you can get relief by visiting doctors or other health care practitioners, do so. Everything about this unfoldment is timed. Let your intuition tell you which counsel to follow, which treatments to allow. Avoid applying labels to your condition, even though doctors tend to do this. Seek help for as long as you feel you need it, and then let it go. We are speaking about NEW BIRTH here, not diagnoses and treatments. All disease processes are Gateways to Transformation. When a newborn babe is ready to come forth from the womb, all restraints to that process are thrown by the wayside. All you can do is let it happen!

http://www.reconnections.net/three_commitments.htm

The Three Commitments will be of great help to you during this time. Follow them as far as your heart takes you. Stay Free, Stay in the Moment, and Follow Your Energy. You are now, or soon will be connecting multidimensionally. Each moment is a world unto itself. Though it seems to belong to some pre-set sequence of
past-present-future, those images and memories are only there to embellish and stimulate that moment in a particular direction. They give color and texture to your NOW, like frames give character to the pictures that are hung within them.

Each sequence of events that is started in the Now Moment will be completed, somewhere within the Multiverse. You don't have to fret that efforts will be wasted, or friendships will be lost. It all goes on, and expands into every destined end. Just keep your eye on the next step, and let the Multiverse handle all the details. There is a place in the Multiverse where you will be able to review every possible/probable sequence, in detail, and find out how all the story plots work out. It's all there for you, when the timing is right.
Trust that, and learn to let go."

Send Me an Email

Shortly before our journey into the interior for the wedding my main computer tower crashed. That forced me to learn how to better work with my laptop. Now, the only problem is all my email addresses are in the old computer...so if you're reading this...send me a personal email so I can pick up your email address again.
I'm looking forward to touching base...
Blessings
Anne