A Story from the Queens Kingdom

Once upon a time the queen found herself under siege and no longer able to travel her kingdom freely. In a dream the queen learned that this taking away of her rights and powers would serve the highest good of all of life. In the dream she was shown a place of beauty, love and light that would be born of her unconditional love for all of life. The queen agreed. She knew in her heart that her real power lay within her being and could not be controlled through siege or threat of death.

Eventually it became clear to the queen that she would need servants to help her steer clear of the dangers that daily visited her door, if she was lucky enough to have one. The first servant she wove from the fibers of her being hemmed with tears. This servant she named Power and Power was sent into hiding. The next servant was named Pretend and the next Forget. Slowly as circumstances arose she wove loyal and loving servants to help her keep herself safe.

Decades flew by and the servants were inherited by the daughters when they discovered they were queens. Often the daughters had to create new servants so difficult was it for them to refuse the moontime call of their queen selves. And so the armies of servants grew through thousands of years of siege.

When the day dawned that the siege began letting up the Queen was in a quandary. She could feel herself being called by the dream to stand up and take back her kingdom. Yet the queen had forgotten about her servants so accustomed to their service had she become. So every time she stood to take her place a servant would stand in front of her to keep her safe. This would send her emotional body careening off the walls in showers of anger, frustration, self loathing and an often unnamed shame of self betrayal.

The less the queen loved herself the more she loved outside of herself. It took a mirror the Sacred Witness and a few good girlfriends to remind the queen that she had an army of servants that would need new marching orders in order for her to be able to re-inhabit her kingdom. And so it came to pass. With the discovery of the servants came the discovery of their loyal, loving lifetimes of service to her safety. She was deeply, deeply touched by this love. She held ceremony to honor these servants their vigilance and faithful service in her name. And the queen began calling each of her servants to the head office to be decommissioned. The servants the queen had inherited wouldn’t be budged from their tasks until they were satisfied that the queen was really safe. Others were assigned new tasks until they were convinced, and others required no more assurances and were absorbed back into the heart of the queen in the blink of an eye. At the time of this writing the queen is in continuing peace talks with the remains of her one time army of servants. Her kingdom is hers to live happily ever after in, or not.
I send much love and gratitude to Beate Ronnenfeldt for sharing her vision that inspired this short story

Just Pretending

Once upon a time an old soul, after much deliberation, decided to return to a physical vessel on Planet Earth. The old soul chose to come into a female vessel. Her name would be Gloria. So it came to pass and there was much joy at her birth. She was a beautiful well loved newborn child.

Days, weeks, months became years and she grew into a young girl. Gloria had the feeling that something wasn’t right in her world, she often had the feeling that life wasn’t supposed to be like this. On the inside she felt perfect and cared for but more and more on the outside things weren’t supposed to be like this. This was in fact painful, with some days more pain filled than others.

As a baby Gloria had heard and loved when her Mother crooned to her about how beautiful and perfect and loved she was. It came as quite a shock the first time Gloria was told she was a bad girl and that she should be a good girl. How could she be good when she was already perfect? Being told everyday that she was a bad girl didn’t convince Gloria that she was a bad girl. In the quiet, alone outside under a favorite tree, Gloria always knew and felt she was perfect and loved.

One day Gloria was caught red handed being her perfect and loved self when she was being punished for being her bad self. Thunder and lighting and screaming and yelling broke out. That was when she knew it would be helpful if she at least pretended some of the time that she was a bad girl and ashamed of herself. Gloria still knew on the inside that she was perfect and loved and she held that knowing close. On the outside, as much as she could, in order to keep herself safe, she pretended to be ashamed of herself, she pretended to be a bad girl.

More years fly by and with those years the knowing on the inside of being perfect and loved faded and withered until Gloria finally knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was less than perfect and undeserving of something as wondrous as love. She completely forgot she was just pretending.

More years, much painful separation from feeling the truth, sometimes more painful for knowing with the mind but still not able to feel with the heart the truth of being perfect and loved…and grief over something unknowable and unnamed that is lost. And yet and yet...

Through the years since the indoctrination in separation began, there were light filled moments. These moments glimmered like a firefly, making Gloria ask if she really saw what she saw. She knew she couldn't get any crazier than she already was so she decided to answer the call. Gloria yearned to play with that inner light. And play she did until every waking moment was taken with her yearning to play with what she now knew was her own light.

And as the light grew shadows emerged seeming to mask the light. Joy and grief, grief and joy, joy and grief. The light grew, the shadows came clearer and bone chilling deep down and dirty clearer. Joy grief joy grief joy grief! And yes, anger at having been betrayed from the inside out.

The day Gloria woke up to the fact she was pretending she remembered a cartoon quip she'd seen the day before...it went something like this:

A five year old child is being given an exercise in using your imagination by an elder. The child is told to pretend to be in a room full of ferocious lions who are going to bite you and then asked what she's going to do. The child answered, I'd stop pretending.


Mother Divine I know that You were here helping uncover this pretense. I know too Mother that You are helping me remember from this moment, forward and back through the timelines and dimensions that I am and have always been perfect and loved. My hands, feet, heart and soul yearn to serve to this message of Divine Love from the Mother. So be it.

November 28th 2010 by Anne Cressy


When I started writing this piece I used my name. About halfway through I saw that almost any name could be inserted. This is dedicated to Gloria Rivers.

A Certain Honesty

"This isn't a journey about becoming something. This is about unbecoming who we are not, about undeceiving ourselves. In the end, it's ironic. We don't end up anywhere other than where we have always been, except that we perceive where we have always been completely differently. We realize that the heaven everyone is seeking is where we have always been. Once again, what is required is a certain sense of honesty."
~ Adyashanti ~
.

I recently encountered one of the ways I have been deceiving myself, silly rabbit. I discovered that the walls I built around many of my gifts as a means of preventing criticism or judgment from reaching me had also prevented me from being present to the loving support that was also always available. Amen

Jigsaw Puzzling

I’ve discovered a metaphor that helps me bring the concept of Oneness with All Life to a manageable size:

I am a giant jig saw puzzle while I am also a single piece of the jigsaw puzzle.


The energetic framework that we’ve lived within for thousands of years, a patriarchal framework has been dismantled and is no longer functional. While many of us are not consciously aware of this energetic shift, we sense through our bodies that the playing field has drastically changed. Men and women alike sense the shift. While women are feeling the shift as a call to new understandings about their feminine selves, men are being called into their hearts that they might support women as they shift back into the energetic driver seat that is our birthright. Women are being not only called, but commanded by Life to stand in their power as women.

Humanity has been preparing for this shift in the ages for centuries. Now that it is upon us we discover that we aren't clear about how to navigate within this new energetic soup that we’ve conjured up. The vessels that we “drive” no longer respond to the old maps that we’ve navigated by, the pathways we formally traversed have morphed into something other. The old picture that came on the outside of the puzzle box showing us what the puzzle could look like no longer applies. There is no box much less a picture. We are explorers in the finest Star Trek tradition of our inner worlds instead of the outer world.

How each of us expresses this shift is unique, we are totally individual puzzle pieces. Unless your puzzle piece is called seer or mystic most of us individual puzzle pieces have no clue what the “big picture” is. The puzzle pieces need to be gathered together before we can catch even an inkling of what the big puzzle looks like. To bring the metaphor into living terms I find that when I’m in a circle with other women, each there to share their unique puzzle piece I get a feeling for and knowings about the “big picture. I find when I listen to others describe their puzzle piece position my piece of the puzzle is fleshed out. The aha moments that come as I listen complete me and I feel like I’m finally home in a world of experiential Oneness, a giant loving jigsaw puzzle.

A Pile of You

I haven't posted anything here yet this year...and I feel this piece by Jennifer Louden articulates exquistely what's up for most of us.




A Pile of You
by Jennifer Louden


It is time.

You are ready. This time, you mean it. For real.

You are ready. You are shedding, dismantling, unbuckling, discarding: identities, accolades, glories, web stats, even your most treasured bio.

Impressive, glittery, sacred: past.

Scars, wounds, failures, shames, dents: they must go, too.


You unbuckle the past slowly, swearing to yourself, softly, repeatedly, “I am ready, I can do this” even as bits of you cling to your fingers.

Disrobe, unwind, unburden.

A pile of you forms on the shore of your future.

The water of the unknown laps at your feet, caresses your toes. So clean, so promising. You are almost naked, almost emptied, almost ready.

Then a thought: wouldn’t it be a good idea to hold on to just one wafer thin bit of you?

After all, like the Egyptian Pharaohs, you will need things on the other side. Maybe not 10,000 nubile slaves or a clay jar with your preserved heart in it but it shouldn’t hurt to take just one, or maybe five, of your degrees with you? Certainly the Oprah appearance would be useful. And being the youngest person in your organization to ever run a division, don’t leave that. And your divorce and bad investments and the semi-abusive relationship - you aren’t really ready to let go of those.

It would be silly to leave all of you. You might get cold. You take back more slivers of your identity from the pile. You worked so hard for them. Especially the stories that gouge and pinch and humiliate.

You put a few bits of you back on. Now you’re ready to dive in, the water looks so fine.

What’s this? You can’t swim. You can’t even float. You are sinking.

Your toes touch the soft, silted bottom. You panic, claw at the water but no matter. You don’t move, can’t move: sunk.

You know what you have to do. If you are honest, it is only because you will drown that you do so, but to your credit, you do it (many would rather drown). You cast away all of who you have been, these last most special and hurtful flecks, remembering, at the last moment to say thank you.

Thank you for it all.”

You find — you have no idea how — you can breathe underwater now. (Maybe it was the thank you?) You can’t see very far in front of you, only a few feet, so you move slowly, as if in a dream. Come to think of it, maybe this is a dream and, any moment, you will wake up. You will be who you are, or were, or always thought you should be. You fantasize about how good that will feel, the known!, and then, shit!

You are smack, stuck, back on the bottom, in the gloom. Unable to move, although thankfully, still, able to breathe.

You sigh and watch the bubbles streak upwards. It seems that holding on to anything here does not serve.

You concentrate on the feeling of the water passing over your skin, on the cerulean blue patch right in front of you, on the rise and fall of your chest.

You take a tentative breaststroke forward. And then another.

Ten Ways for Elementals to Work With Humans

1. Do not prejudge all humans as bad but examine each human to find the good in them.
2. Having found the spark of good, breathe your energy into it to enlarge it.
3. When a human pays attention to a plant, tree or stone, tell him or her what the plant or tree would like in order to be healthier. Even if humans don’t hear the message consciously, they will receive it subconsciously.
4. When you see a human who is trying to help nature, cluster around that human and give them all the help you can. Often humans don’t think to ask you directly, but our higher selves ask this.

5. Play with humans so that they can recover their childlike joy and wonder. Many humans are depressed and need the joy elementals bring.
6. Give humans proof of your existence. Humans are more inclined to believe in elementals if you do this.
7. Appreciate the human strengths of forgiveness, love, persistence, and focus. By associating with humans, elementals will learn these qualities.
8. To (human) body elementals: don’t give up. Keep moving your human hosts into situations to catalyze positive change.
9. Don’t judge humans by elemental standards. Presently humans eat beings that live, excrete waste and age. Through this path we learn to be creators of form and worlds.

10. Surprise us.

Ten Ways for Humans to Work with Elementals

I found these guidelines in a book by Tanis Helliwell called Summer with the Leprechauns. I couldn't resist copying them to share.



1. Believe in elementals. Human belief strengthens elementals and gives them energy.
2. Be happy and enthusiastic. Elementals are not attracted to depressed, sad humans.
3. Go to healthy places in nature as often as possible. Walk in forests, along the seashore, lie in a meadow, listen to birds, sit by a brook. Enter into the right vibration of the Earth and listen to what it wants. Humans will purify their vibrations if they do these things.
4. Appreciate the beauty in nature. When humans do this, elementals will be attracted to you.

5. Cooperate and create with nature by planting trees, growing flowers, feeding the birds.
6. Send energy to elementals, who look after trees, flowers, water and mountains, to keep them healthy. Do this with joy and gratitude.
7. Teach other humans to appreciate nature. Do it with love and joy, and these humans will begin to understand the Earth and her needs.
8. Do things spontaneously; free yourself from overplanning and organizing.
9. Take time everyday to do nothing. Create a space in both your house and head so magic can occur.


10. In order to contact an elemental who wants to work with you on an ongoing basis, sit in a quiet natural place, close your eyes and call this elemental to you. Notice what kind of elemental has come. Ask it what it’s gift is and its name. Listen to this elemental on an ongoing basis; act on its suggestions, and your relationship will become stronger.

Imagining Peace

For years, when given an opportunity for a wish over birthday candles or Beltane fires, I wished for peace on Earth. I admittedly didn’t start out wishing for peace because I believed in wishes. I wished for peace because I didn’t in the least believe in wishes. So if I was going to wish I had decided to wish for something else I didn’t believe in.

Considering that everyone of us starts out as a child believing in wishes coming true, and considering that we’re all eventually directed to give wishes and wishing up for reality, I could have continued throwing my wishes away on peace and not thought further about this. Instead, I began to reclaim the childhood wisdom that knows that real wishes do come true, though a real wish can be hard to sort from other kinds of wishes. When an opportunity to wish a wish showed up I wished for peace again. I didn’t believe in peace, though I couldn’t have admitted it at the time.

It was after joining a group of women calling themselves the Vessels of Peace that I began to examine my beliefs about peace. It was the name itself that had sounded inviting, sounded at that particularly difficult time in my life like a concept I could well afford to embrace. I began imagining that I was a Vessel of Peace. I discovered that peace is a hard sell, not many people interested, except maybe Christmas Day. I discovered that while I did believe in peace, I had difficulty imaging what that peace would look like. I found that it was easy to imagine disaster scenarios, but that I couldn’t imagine peaceful scenarios with nearly the same gusto. I wondered when I would be a Vessel of Peace.

This December 7, 2009 as winter solstice approaches I find myself able to sketch an answer to my search around imaging what peace looks like. I needed to bring myself to my imaginings of peace and then I find circles of people gathered in sacred space emote peace. I find when I channel the Mother, conveying Her messages, I feel peace. When I pray aloud I am at peace. I am at peace when I nurture. I am at peace when I listen to the news. I am peace in my sleep. I am at peace with the anger, at peace with grief. Peace enlightens my fear. Peace crept up on me, caught me unaware that I had fallen so thoroughly into Her arms that I am embodying Peace. Yes, I can be at peace with war!

When I open to peace it isn’t a boring, nondescript space. It is a daring vital energy with a rejuvenating quality that sings through this vessel at the speed of light. It is a well of hope from which youth can spring eternal. Peace is the softest flowing gossamer fabric, peace is durable and sturdy; it is eternal whether I am present to that peace or not.

Peace and love are interchangeable words. Peace and love aren’t far away nebulous places. Peace is and always has been available within. I invite you to join me to open your inbuilt circuits and lets plug into peace and glory in it's glow together.

Sounding Out the Love

Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Module Two of the Kundalini Trance Dance facilitator training was a magnificent experience and I'd like to share some joy.

Let me start with the fact that this work is helping bring about what I consider to be an extraordinary transformation in my life. For now, the best way I have to put this statement into other descriptive words is to say that I have gone from knowing with my mind and heart the truth that I am/we are light beings, to being able to feel into that subtle light body to activate, cleanse and nourish it.

My journey home takes me through the Little River ferry terminal to catch a boat to Powell River. It is always the first place that I have time to catch my breath after leaving the Haven and my thoughts turn to the daily breathing exercises that are recommended we use to keep us vibrationally sweet. Like other trips home I knew that these would be opportune moments for the practice. It was blowing a gale outside so there was no going to the beach this time. I put Goddess Alchemy Project on low, closed my eyes and starting grounding down to connect.

As I opened and began breathing Shakti Ma up I could feel my perineum sipping the electro-magnetic energy, could feel the light thrilling up feet and legs to pool in my pelvis empowering the cleansing sounds of light being pulled through the four layers of my auric body. Again I found something special about doing this practice alone for the first time in a week. With the accompanying sounds of rain lashing and winds shaking the little vehicle, I took the deepest most aware dive into light body, like the last time, only more. I could feel every ray of light that encapsulates this physical body, could distinctly feel the subtle movement of light streaming through central pranic tube, ida and pingala pathways and through each chakra and tube torus. Combined with the sense of connection to Shakti below and Shiva above, it was breathtaking, an ecstatic state in seconds, much less time than it takes to read or write this. I hung out at heart in the light, feeling akin to a child at play in a summer rain, splashing light and sounding out the love.

For years I've sensed that humanity needed spiritual food. Now I know that we literally need to feed our spirit bodies with light. It feels exquisite and perfect this Divine plan that gave us physical bodies designed to "plug into" our energetic environment, like a plug into a power outlet. Perhaps a billboard campaign selling humanity to itself by describing how these wondrous vessels come factory equipped with a bank of batteries and complete circuitry to run not only Solar power but Earth energy through our systems as well.

I need to share about another joyous aspect of these Awakenings and training periods that also really came home this time. Through each of your eyes I experienced myself held, respected, accepted and undeniably unconditionally loved. The feeling of sisterhood and sense of belonging that was seeded and nurtured has grown into a full blown garden in which I refresh myself regularly. A lifetime, many lifetimes of yearning for I knew not what is now known. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams. You have all held space for me to flower as the purring slobbering love muffin I really am and I thank you and love you from one end of my sweaty self to the other.

Sounding Out the Love Part 2

The wonder of this work really shows up when I’m in a sweat, whether literal or metaphor. Instead of falling back into old coping mechanisms when I am triggered by a circumstance or person I now have the tools to step out of the story and finally put an end to the behaviors that before kept me looping and stuck in the stories.

I received counsel during the interview with Leyolah and Luna Astraea at the end of this training that I knew immediately was a gift of Divine proportions. It was really simple as most truths tend to be. I was counseled that it was past time to mature away from the old need/loop to be liked. I laughed. I was delighted at how easy it was to hear this perfect and true counsel. We three laughed and agreed that this counsel applies to most of us some of the time.
First thing the morning after the interview an examination of the need to be liked was triggered and I had fodder to either process or loop in. Thanks to the fact that I was fresh and clear from the weeks work I knew immediately which childhood story had come up. Now instead of wallowing in the story what happened can be described as a surrendering to it. Instead of becoming the story I witnessed it. Rather than feeling put upon and out of sorts because I had been triggered I sensed joy at the journey of discovery that was opening up for me. I asked a question. “What’s with this need to be liked and where was it born?”

I witnessed that my choices in childhood around what I liked and disliked had been compromised at best, denied completely at worst. I witnessed my opinion not mattering and the resulting loss of trust in self. I witnessed taking up the spear of judgment and criticism that was used against me. It was when I witnessed myself hating that I felt I had uncovered the heart of the answer to the question. Intuitively I sensed that loving self or another completely and unconditionally isn’t possible when there is a hidden kernel of un-owned hatred anywhere in our being. A part of me was out of integrity with who I am as love and until I owned the lack of integrity neediness would show up as a symptom.
Standing into, by witnessing the hate that I had generated wouldn’t have been possible until now. Sharing this process without the back story hasn’t been possible until now.

I have enjoyed this dance with the shadows and light. I am delighted to find that the light and dark are merging, not into hazy grey but an illuminated silver.

A Spring Dance Retreat

These next weeks I'll am fulfilling dreams so long ago dreamt they were for a time forgotten. As I look over the preparations for this retreat and facilitator training I am grateful and feel blessed beyond my wildest imaginings. The privilege of stepping out of time, as it were, into days and weeks of dance and prayer, of life revolving around the tribe and temple is an exquisite life transforming blessing. Yes there is work involved, yes I'll have to dig deep within, yes I am ready to be completely me!

Namaste

Wearable Silk Art

A dear friend named Amber asked if I would model her batik silk scarves for some pictures. We met last week in a sunny patch of forest, near the woodpile, and Amber arranged scarves, took pictures and generally proved herself a versatile, way talented artist. I'm often not comfortable in front of a camera so I'm delighted to see that not only the scarves looking scrumptious, but I'm looking relaxed and very presentable. Thank you so much for the fun Amber, you can call me to model for your camera anytime!

If you see a scarf you like, send me an email and I'll pass it along to Amber.

Our watershed has changed ever so slightly over this last winter. At first it didn’t seem like anything out of the ordinary when Court suggested that he wanted to build a trail around a nearby lake. We’ve often sat on a stump looking out on the lake only able to explore the lake in our mind’s eyes, wanting to go further. This first picture shows our destination across the lake.

Court shared his intention to build the trail with Neale Gustafson, who though it was a great idea (like me he probably didn’t realize it would really happen). It is Water Board land held in public trust and Neal is the Boards chairman. Trail building began in earnest February 2009 with an exploratory trip to begin flagging out a possible route for the trail to take. A few days later with clippers and chainsaw he rendered a section of passable trail. The afternoon he came home and announced there was a trail to a log bridge crossing the stream at the head of the lake I decided I had to go see.

Walking deeper into our watershed was like walking back in time. The evidence of logging from a long ago time that left massive old growth nestled in a canyon sheltered from the winds of these last winters. Here, maybe a mile from our home is another world, a slower more majestic one than the everyday one I inhabit. The sights and smells of an old growth forest mesmerize me. The log that forms the bridge over the creek is blow down. The creek is cheery as creeks are with sweet clean water cold enough to sate the thirst a hike works up.

Over the creek the trail building was more difficult from laying the route out to hacking through dense stands of salal. An attempt was made to come in from the dam side of the lake to find the trail and shorten the work of carrying the chainsaw up the trail. The canoe was also considered as means of getting the chainsaw to the head of the lake. In the end it was slow but steady man power that accomplished what I now realize is a lot.

After a week away from home I returned to hear the announcement that the trail has reached it’s destination at the dam. I have had time to realize how valuable this trail is to me. I learned more of the history of the local landscape, who logged what, when, and how they logged.

Today was an overcast but not raining great day to hike Court’s new trail. The land it traverses is rough and tumble, up and down and Court has somehow wrestled a good trail out of the topography he had to work with. It is exciting to think that we may have a way to access a fresh water swimming hole during the summer months. The trail needs walking to help establish some of the footings on the side hills it traverses and to keep some of the undergrowth back in other spots. I could learn to carry clippers like Court does to help with the undergrowth. He carried clippers today, I carried the camera.

Congratulations Court on a magnificent job and thank you for the blessings you bring into my life.

A Blog Update

It's been some time since I've posted regularly, partly because I haven't been able to post pictures and partly because my attention was drawn other places. Since returning from a trip to visit with the Grandchildren in Vernon and their high speed internet connection, I am able to post pictures, wonder of wonders and here I am again.

A full year of working with Kundalini Trance dance has me as deeply committed to the work as I am to breathing itself. I'm heading out April 27th to begin another eight day retreat to be followed immediately by the first seven days of hours of training as a facilitator of the Kundalini Trance Dance. The easyness with which I write those words now speaks to the months of processing the decision to honor the calling.

While I travel to Gabriola Island from April 27th until May 15th Court has decided to head out on a couple of short motorcycle journeys to Vancouver Island to visit friends. He's finally got his 1973 650 Triumph Bonneville running like new and wants to take her around and show her off a bit. I'll have to take and post a picture of them together.

There is more news to share, a new cat member in our tribe. I'm going to give Shorty, aka Sir Bumalot a proper introduction and moment in the limelight (with pictures) with his own posting in the near future. Until then:

Blessed be!

A Day in the Garden with the Birds

I prepared the potato and onion beds for planting these last days. It was a great gift to find a couple of meals worth of potatoes that had over wintered in the ground perfectly. Today I found the last leeks in a tangle at the far corner of the onion bed. The sweet smell of soil, the hard crunch of rocks under the shovel and then bend to pull a few weeds and breathe out gratitude about this wonderful chore, I love these piles of dirt collected on bed rock. I’m as twitterpated as the birds I hear singing their hearts out about the wonder and joy, the glory of life around us.

Grateful I am for the sound of the male hummingbird announcing himself to the world as a suitor ready and able after he’s climbed straight into the air a hundred feet and more. I have to stop and watch as he goes straight up to arc and swoop down making his distinctive ta-da before doing it all again. What a show, I’m swooning and I wish him well with his own kind. A male red winged blackbird is sounding his arrival song at the bird feeder with his female close behind. A red bellied sap sucker is drumming his availability on the light stand above the garage; every female for miles around can hear him. The deep blue Stellars Jays are trying to chase the red winged blackbirds from the bird feeder with raucous caws that sound like crows. Something, probably the cats have disturbed the chipmunks in their mating escapades and they’re scolding can be heard in the distance. Grateful I am for this gentle natural soundscape.

I chose to focus today on the mantra I love and approve of myself. After a while of such it felt right to move into I love and approve of the whole world. After another while a note of doubt sounded…did I really love and approve of the whole world? That note did not feel right and I remember that most negative thinking stems from ego and I knew that ego was attempting to circumvent a loss of control. I returned to feeling into loving and approving of the whole world and felt how vital it is to hold to this mantra; this viewpoint of the world can and will recreate anything that doesn’t serve the good of the whole without violence, without fear.

Sometimes, in order to remain present and at peace with what is, I have to ask these two questions; am I coming from love around this or am I coming from fear. The easiest choice can be the one that feels good and works as well for the good of the whole.

Blessed be!

Happy Valentines Day : The Morning of the Age of Aquarius

"Forty years ago, the intuitive words of a song called Aquarius, brought the dawning of the new age into our collective awareness:

When the Moon is in the seventh house

and Jupiter aligns with Mars.

Then peace will guide the planets

and love will steer the stars

At dawn on 14th February the Cosmos actually embodies this perfect alignment to support our collective manifestation of love and peace and dawning of the Age of Aquarius."

For more...
Shortcut to: http://www.judecurrivan.com/media-articles/articles/the-aquarian-alignment-14th-february-2009/

I was living in Montreal in the summer of 1969 when this song was hit parade material, a song from the musical "Hair". I sang these words back then with all my heart and little understanding. Now I understand why I sang and am still singing these words with all my heart...won't you join me...when the moon is in the seventh house (as it is today), and Jupiter aligns with Mars...

How blessed we are to lived through this forty year dawning to enter the Morning of the Age of Aquarius!

Winter Daydreams: Solstice 2008

Twenty five year ago, during the winter months, stained glass came into my life as a hobby. After ten years as a hobby I began eking out a living with stained glass doing commissioned work, teaching and selling retail. DAYDREAMS Art Glass. In the last five years I’ve returned to stained glass as a hobby and it’s been years since I’ve gone on a creative run with stained glass; I’m savoring being on this run. I walked to the village this afternoon to get away from the studio and give my sore fingers a break.

The Flower of Life came up in early Fall in a discussion about trading a stained glass sun catcher for dance clothes with a local designer/seamstress. I was hesitant to commit to that particular project, that’s a lot of pieces to cut. When circumstance further supplied an artist who was familiar with the Flower of Life and interested in trying to come up with a pattern with the specifications provided, I went for it. I wanted to walk into the project without any preconceived notions of what the Flower of Life was about and this meant I wouldn’t have to do any research for the image. I did know that Michelangelo used the Flower of Life in his drawings and I had seen the name Drunvallo Melchezidek in connection with the Flower of Life in an online bookstore.

I didn’t immediately realize I was looking at silk batik renditions of the Flower of Life on the temple altars at the Awakening retreat in November. There is so much to experience when walking into this kind of temple for the first time. When I did fathom them I knew I’d have to take pictures of the altars to capture the Flower of Life in four of the endless possible renditions. When we were instructed in our dance with throat chakra, to place the image of the Flower of Life over our throat chakra during the sixth day of the retreat, I was ecstatic.

My dreams since returning from the retreat are full of images of the Flower of Life, and people stepping onto the circle with me, stepping into an awareness of who they really are, stepping into their hearts. Veils are dropping and more people step onto the Flower of Life joining those who are already there. Information about what the intersection of nodes we’re standing on means and how to output and input energy from that intersection is shared. There is a vital, vibrant dynamic energy around people who consciously step onto their place on the Flower of Life.

The first small Flower of Life created itself after the small one I found in the Awakening retreat manual. I asked Court to make me a larger pattern and he’s been discovering and playing with the Sacred Geometry of the Flower of Life ever since. We’re both thoroughly engrossed in making this dream manifest. Life is art. The Seed of Life may prove to be more fun to work with and more cost effective. Last night I Googled Drunvallo Melchezidek and found this:

The Flower of Life symbol is being released once again into the consciousness of humankind. This helps to give us a model of unity amongst diversity, which we so desperately need to heal the fracturing reality we see around us. It is time to surrender to the unity that surrounds us. Our inherent unity was once unseen and ignored, but now we have the understanding, templates, and tools to truly see its existence and embrace this unity in our lives.

Sacred geometry and the teachings of the Flower of Life help us to see within ourselves the vastness of which we are all a part. Many humans have been conditioned to see and believe in a limited perspective of smallness. Elephant trainers of the far east tie a thin rope around the ankle of a baby elephant and throughout their lives reinforce the boundary of the rope. The adult elephant is fully capable of breaking the rope but the elephant has been so conditioned to believe he cannot, that he does not understand his own power to free himself. We are like those elephants, just learning about our self-imposed belief in limitation. Living with our limited perspectives of ourselves, we rarely see past our limitations and, as a consequence, we bind ourselves to our habits. With a little effort, the teachings of the Flower of Life and sacred geometry help us peer through the window of our conditioned beliefs and gaze at the vastness of our true selves and our infinite potential. http://www.floweroflife.org/toverview8.htm

One of the aspects of stained glass as a business or a hobby is the cost of materials, the more exquisite the glass, the higher the prices. It is fascinating to find that the patterns for the Flower of Life make it possible to use every scrap of glass. I will include some pictures if and when I am able.

This Is A Unique Winter Solstice

The Winter Solstice is considered one of the most powerful times of the year by many cultures around the world. In the Northern Hemisphere this celestial event usually occurs on December 21st. The timing of the solstice this year will be Sunday, December 21, at 7:04 a.m. EST, 4:04 a.m. PST, or 12:04 p.m. Universal Time.

The Winter Solstice is the longest night of the year, and it heralds the initial impulse of the annual return of the Sun, the Light, to the Earth. This year the spiritual effects of the solstice will be more powerful than ever before. This is due to the incredible influx of Light that is pouring into the planet through the heartfelt pleas of people everywhere.

Humanity is experiencing the most intensified purging of the economic system, and the various other social structures that do not operate with a consciousness of the highest good for all concerned, that we have ever endured. This is a necessary cleansing that is paving the way for the physical manifestation of the patterns of perfection for the New Earth. The difficult part of this process is that the masses of Humanity do not see the bigger picture. Millions of people see only the painful situations that are happening in their lives. As a result of this limited perception, they feel overwhelmed and hopeless. This is very hard to observe, but it is not all bad.

After our fall from Grace aeons ago, we became so numb to the discord in our lives that we just muddled through our Earthly experiences accepting mediocrity as a natural state of being. We fell into the terrible habit of using pain as our motivator. Unless we were writhing in agony, we did not feel that it would help to take action or to ask for assistance from our Father-Mother God. For millions of people on Earth, prayer and an invocation for Light from our God Parents occurs only when they are brought to their knees by their life situations. This is exactly what is happening at this time for millions of people all over the world.

The Company of Heaven is revealing to us now that more people than ever before are reaching a critical moment in their life experiences. Consequently, millions of people are asking God for Divine Intervention. Many of them are praying for the very first time. This powerful event, in unison with the millions of Lightworkers who daily invoke the Light of God, has created the greatest influx of Light the Earth has ever experienced during a Winter Solstice. This Heavenly assistance will greatly empower the patterns of perfection for the New Earth, and it will accelerate our individual hopes and dreams by leaps and bounds.

Beginning now, and continuing for the next 72 hours, focus intently on the vision of what you want to manifest in your life and the lives of your loved ones. Focus on your visions for the New Earth and the harmony and balance you wish for all Humanity. This is a rare opportunity, and we are being called to action by our God Selves—our I AM Presence—and the Company of Heaven. Be sure your visions and your intentions always reflect our Oneness and the Reverence of ALL Life.

This event will pave the way for a God Victorious New Year. 2009 is going to be a year of miraculous changes. These changes have been in the works for quite some time, and now we are going to experience them tangibly in the world of form. These changes will not happen by chance. They will occur through the unified efforts of Lightworkers all over the world and the Company of Heaven.

I know there are a lot of dire predictions regarding the global economy and the challenges Humanity is going through, but we are not the victims of circumstance. We are the cocreators of our Earthly experiences. If we do not like the way things are going in our lives, we have the ability to change our circumstances. This is what we have been preparing for aeons to accomplish—and now is the time.

As the Hopi prophecy states: “We are the ones we have been waiting for.”

2009 numerically is an 11 year. Eleven is the master number that reflects the transformation of the physical into the Divine. The archetypes for the patterns of perfection for the New Earth were securely anchored into the physical plane in August 2008. In 2009, through our creative faculties of thought and feeling, we will expand these patterns into our daily experiences.

The purging and cleansing of the obsolete behavior patterns that have caused the maladies existing in Humanity’s lives will continue. But the wonderful news is, as these old archetypes crumble away, the expansion of the patterns of perfection for the New Earth will begin to manifest in ways that will bring joy, fulfillment and great expectations into the hearts and minds of people everywhere.

There is a new sense of hope flooding through the hearts of people around the world. Humanity’s hope is magnetizing Legions of Light from the Realms of Perfection into the atmosphere of Earth in ways we have never experienced. The Divine Intent of these Messengers of God is to assist Humanity to move quickly through the cleansing process so that the bliss of the New Earth will manifest in the twinkling of an eye.

2009 is going to be whatever we cocreate together. Do not let this opportunity pass you by.

Patricia Diane Cota-Robles
New Age Study of Humanity's Purpose
a 501 (c) 3 nonprofit educational organization

Website: http://eraofpeace.org

Approaching the Winter Solstice 2008

A gentle snow began falling early yesterday evening and it hasn’t stopped. How appropriate for the season of darkness that the ground is carpeted in light. I love to leave first fresh footprints in snow, hence a walk into the village today. There were only locals about, on foot too, enjoying the still and quiet that the four inch blanket of snow lends. The white light that comes up from the ground instead of down from above makes the deep grey still snowing sky less ominous. Snow will continue falling until tomorrow morning and isn’t expected to warm and melt before the New Year.

A phone conversation between Canadians, will usually start with how’s the weather where you are, even if they’re only a few miles apart. A day like today is the reason that this conversation goes on year round. The answer to the question how’s the weather can give more information about another than hours of conversation can convey. If you’re also from a Northern climate, when I tell you it’s snowing you know a lot about my circumstances. You know that if I don’t have to drive, I don’t! You know that there can be a lot of work involved. You know that any other plans that were made for this day could change, maybe fast.

One of the ways I say my prayers, to send love and offer gratitude for this life at this wonderful time in our herstory, is to feel back to how the First People’s and our ancestors lived on this landscape in this weather hundreds of years ago. Talk about a reality check, hot and cold running water often top the gratitude list, with feather quilts and wood burning furnaces. And the food preserves…aahhhhh…blessings indeed. None of those blessings would be rich and juicy without the people and cats that fill out the landscape of my everyday life. Thank you, thank you!

Tonight as I listen in to the approach of the darkest night of the year I hear clearly that we need to slow down and take stock now, not when it is convenient. As nature is rejuvenating Herself the message She sends is clear; ease off on whatever you are using to stress yourself. Turn to the Light within when the Darkness without reigns.

A Root Chakra Journey: Getting Real About Oneness

Looking back I see that the first months of dancing and feeling into my base or root chakra I barely felt the connection to the Earth energy that we were being invited to experience. I could see the facilitators’ intent reaching down to the to Earth, I could see/feel her pulling that Divine Feminine life force into her own body; when I imitated her movements I knew I was experiencing only a small part of what I witnessed. My body desperately craved more. I knew that if I kept moving and calling and breathing I would connect deeper until the experience was authentically mine, not the mime.

With hindsight I see too much head and not enough groundedness: so much denial of self, a refusal to witness and accept my own need to feel/be part of a tribe. I can hear myself saying over the years that I needed to be a contributing member of humanity. What I remained clueless to was that my humanity was a nebulous over there, anywhere but here where I am humanity. This masked the pain of feeling ostracized by tribe and was felt/expressed as an unrelenting desire to be seen, to be heard, to be special. That need couldn’t be met. I couldn’t hear or see me for me either.

The first time I witnessed my resistance to tribe or community was October 2008 when our facilitator expressed her joy at having the dance tribe gathered again after a hiatus. I could feel her genuine joy against which I found I felt not a drop. That got my attention as it coincided with a discovery that I had been disrespecting and disenfranchising myself from the political sectors of society.

The memory that came up dancing root chakra first day of the retreat was the story Mom told of how when the nurse brought me to her in the hospital she denied that I was her newborn baby because I was too beautiful. Whether I felt the abandonment as a newborn or not, every time I heard the story during my childhood I felt abandoned by the story, not loved and special as Mom intended I feel. Mine are all the classic reasons for avoiding the tribe, fear, distrust, anger/rage, betrayal, this lifetime, other life times. Too, I see now that I lived many classic symptoms of an under active/over active root chakra, with poverty consciousness at the top of the list.

I did not sleep well the first time I participated in a Kundalini Trancen Dance. After three nights of not sleeping well at the retreat, I knew I needed to ask Leyolah for help. I also shared about the newly awakened pain in my left hip (feminine side), a pain that had also come up the first time I danced, a pain I thought I had danced through.

As she laid her hand on my hip she suggested that I needed to focus on grounding myself well and thoroughly before going to bed. As she spoke the words I felt their truth. She instructed me to find the ecstasy in my legs. As she said that I realized that it was true that the goose bumps that for me often signal the ecstatic state never covered my legs, only my torso, arms, neck and head. As I retrieve this memory by writing these words I remember the need to focus on bringing the ecstasy down into my legs these next weeks and months. (I felt goose bumps down my legs at the height of our dance last night. (Dec.8, 2008) Yes, yes, yes!)

During the sixth day of the retreat, when my room mate was pulling out early, the old feelings of not being worthy and being abandoned and betrayed came up full tilt boogie. In the context of the retreat I was able to witness yet experience the grief and anger without getting enmeshed in the old story. I am not a five year old girl, I choose to be the grown woman experiencing another grown woman making a choice that went against the grain of the group. I was able to confirm my initial congratulations to her about her courage to face and make her difficult decision. I did not in the least loop back into my old story of abandonment and was grateful for the validation of my good health as it were, by the whole experience.

I found my little girl, rather she showed up one day this week as I was distilling my experiences with root chakra. In feeling into her, around five years of age, I remembered the anguish and loneliness of not feeling supported, nurtured, loved. I remembered the feeling of not belonging where I was, of being called a bad girl when I knew I was a good girl. I remembered pining for my real family to show up. I remembered meeting my first girl friend the first day of school. I felt I had found a family member. At six years of age, we walked to school together, holding hands, promising we’d marry twin brothers so we could stay close. We named our children. I remembered her death three months later. I remembered being beaten and told to forget about her when I expressed my grief. I had to stop being a good girl to forget her, which I did. I began cracking into pieces.



No matter how clear in my head I was or am about my Oneness with all of Life, as long as the sludge of unresolved “scar tissue” resided at my energetic root chakra I was unable to fold all of humanity into my heart or to use Leyolahs’ words “ecstatically embody the fullness of our Oneness”. Without owning tribe I remained always outside Oneness, separated as it were by divisions within self and unable to truly ground myself. As I explored root I found I had really let parts of myself take up space outside me, forming a mini tribe of parts and components of myself to take up the space left void and empty without an authentic love connection to tribe. No wonder no joy.

Separation beliefs begin in our core/root chakra. For years I didn’t make the connection between using politics, politicians, doctors, lawyers, teachers and such, all part of our/my larger community/tribe as scapegoats in the blame game and the separation ideology I knew needed undoing. My attitudes and beliefs toward sections of my culture have come up to be peeled away steadily this year. It began with committing to meeting with women in sacred ways regularly, which led to the Kundalini dance circle. The dance cycles have insured that the layers of the onion in my being called social conditioning keep coming up to be seen for what is real and released if need be.

My original attraction to the dance came with an unparalleled conviction that I needed the grounding that this work offered as a counter weight for the heady, third eye meditation service with the Vessels of Peace. For me, after years of building an energetic sludge to the dynamic life giving Divine Feminine energies by disrespecting my physical ancestors feminine legacy, it feels perfect to dedicate myself to clearing those blocks/bricks through the cleansing connecting breathes between Mama Gaia and my root chakra. I am made whole and complete in this practice.



If we as subtle activists are to fulfill our creative potential as activists, a journey through our subtle or chakric body can serve to build parameters within which to better utilize the potential of that subtle activity.